How To Weigh Down A Grave Decorations

Rules & Etiquette For Cemetery Visitation And Grave Decoration

Honoring the dead has always been an of import aspect of man lives. We mourn their loss and cherish their memories through a diverseness of ways across countless cultures. We hold memorials and wakes. We plan elaborate funerals. Nosotros fifty-fifty practice mourning through our behaviors and the mode nosotros dress. For many, especially in the United states, one of our preferred ways is through the decoration of graves with flowers, wreaths, or other symbolic trinkets and gifts that assistance memorialize who they were in life.

In this commodity, we will explore the many ways you can decorate the grave of a loved one, including the about common and more unusual ways to make your cemetery visit special. We will also teach yous the best ways to create and maintain your very ain graveside memorial. Finally, nosotros will touch on basic cemetery etiquette and some do'due south and don'ts for families.

Why Nosotros Decorate Graves

Humanity has a long history of decorating gravesites. It'due south common practice today for many cultures around the world to place significant items on or around a loved i'south headstone or memorial plaque.

The earliest recorded instances of grave ornamentation date back to the Ancient Greeks around 2000 years ago. They practiced a rite called "Zoai" which involved leaving flowers on the graves of fallen warriors.

If those flowers took root, they interpreted it as those warriors finding peace and happiness on the other side. Romans laid flowers over the graves of fallen warriors during the festival of Parentalia (Days of the Fathers) – and viii-twenty-four hours long festival – by family unit and friends of the dead.

Roman Parentalia

In America, the tradition gained prominence later on the decease of Abraham Lincoln. Equally the grooming carrying his remains through the state traveled through various cities, information technology stopped in several locations to allow citizens to pay their respects. Many brought giant bouquets, trinkets, and odd decorations to lay most the casket.

Post-obit his funeral, people effectually the country began placing flowers on graves of soldiers that had died in the Ceremonious War. In 1886, Union General John Alexander Logan proclaimed May 30th equally the official day for decorating soldiers' graves with flowers. Somewhen, it became the holiday nosotros today know equally Memorial Day.

Today, nosotros continue the tradition in our own lives on a more personal level. We decorate the graves of our loved ones and family unit members because nosotros want to memorialize them even later on they are gone.

Decoration brings a level of personalization to their terminal resting place, making their grave a more than comfortable identify to visit when we need information technology most. Gravesite visitations are an integral aspect of the grieving process for those of us left backside after a person dies.

By providing a well-maintained, personalized space around the grave, we give ourselves a special place to grieve. It allows us to spend time with the deceased even after they are gone.

Most Common Grave Decorations

Sometimes, things are classic for a reason, and y'all can never go wrong with a classic. These are some of the most time-honored kinds of decorations you may want to consider for your loved one'due south graveside memorial.

FRESH FLOWERS

Leaving fresh flowers on gravesites is a timeless, classic way to decorate a grave. As we've discussed in a higher place, they have been used extensively throughout history. Flowers are beautiful, vibrant, and add color and life to any cemetery plot.

If you've called a flat grave marking, many of those come with a congenital-in vase to place flowers in that does non add unsecured décor to the cemetery. Many cemeteries may as well let you identify a pocket-sized found on the grave every bit an alternative.

There is no right or incorrect reply for choosing flowers to decorating a grave and it's okay for families to consider other factors when making their choice. Don't feel as if yous accept to go with the standard carnations and roses when you really would adopt alternative flowers.

So what are some options for other flowers? How exercise families know what to look for? We have some ideas to help with making your selection!

The Deceased'south Preference

Some people accept strong opinions on flowers. Yous will want to go on that in mind when choosing what to put on the grave.

What sorts of colors or flowers did they love in life? What did they consider overdone or fifty-fifty dislike? Choosing something for their tastes, even at present, adds more meaning to the display. You may desire to forego the standard carnations or roses in favor of their beloved lilies or lilacs.

Consider The Seasons

What fourth dimension of the year is it? That information may inform what kind of flowers volition wait best at the gravesite.

If you have any involvement in color coordinating with the seasons, you will want to choose bright colors for jump and summertime while considering darker, russet hues for the fall. Seasonal flowers are most likely the freshest available every bit well.

Keeping Flowers Fresh

Many cemeteries have strict rules near the maintenance and longevity of living floral arrangements. They may clean flowers off weekly or monthly, depending on their policies.

It is mutual practice for groundskeepers to remove wilted flowers or other foliage from the grave before it can be seen as disruptive to other mourners. Y'all may desire to programme your visit accordingly.

Bogus FLOWERS

Some cemeteries do not allow fresh flowers to be placed on graves. This can exist due to cleanliness, maintenance concerns, or peradventure other policies in place. If that is the case, they usually allow silk bloom arrangements instead.

While they are not always every bit preferred equally fresh flowers, they are likewise more durable and terminal longer. Bogus flowers may fade over time and will somewhen need to exist replaced.

However, they are an economic choice, especially if yous aren't able to visit the gravesite weekly or even months due to geographic altitude or whatever other factor.

CANDLES

For many Christians, leaving candles on graves is a symbol of religion in the resurrection and promise of eternal life granted by the Christian God. Practise for centuries, this tradition is even so prevalent in modern cemeteries around the world.

On the traditional Mexican holiday Dia de Los Muertos (usually known in the US as Day of the Dead), families celebrate by placing candles on the graves of their loved ones as part of the ofrenda. These small altars are constructed in cemeteries to honor the dead and celebrate their life. Information technology is a way to connect with deceased loved ones.

But earlier you place a candle on your loved 1'due south gravestone, it'due south of import to brand certain that information technology does not violate any cemetery rules. You may find that you'll need to make sure the candles are not enclosed in glass or left burning unattended. More stringent rules might prohibit the apply of open flame on the grounds.

Dia de Los Muertos

HANDWRITTEN NOTES

Writing messages to those who accept passed is a fourth dimension-honored tradition. It helps us maintain our connectedness to the person and gives us an avenue of communication that, while may not come up close to what we once had, tin still be meaningful and fulfilling in its own way. It helps us work through grief and loss by putting those emotions to the folio and committing them in a way we can revisit and giving words to our pain.

While we notice solace in the act of writing these letters and notes to our loved ones, we can also discover farther healing in bringing them their terminal resting identify. You can read your notation on-site or if that feels too personal, you tin leave it at that place every bit a token on the grave or headstone itself.

If you find that you aren't the blazon to journal or write lengthy letters, you tin bring cards instead. Holidays and birthdays are perfect occasions for those, every bit y'all can include a small note on them to commemorate the day.

PHOTOGRAPHS

As the maxim goes, a photograph is worth a thousand words. They are memories frozen in time, each distilled equally a perfect moment we tin can look dorsum on and cherish. Information technology'southward no surprise that we use them so oft to laurels the memory of our deceased loved ones.

Today, it's very mutual for mourners to get out photographs and pictures on gravestones as keepsakes for their loved ones. Y'all may want to leave a photo of your wedding at the grave of a parent who has passed or get out a moving picture the grandkids drew for grandma or granddad.

Instead of leaving a traditional photograph frame, y'all may want to have the pictures laminated. This will keep them from fading in the elements. Many specialized frames tin can be fastened securely to stone and can survive to be exterior for long periods of fourth dimension.

If you're concerned well-nigh the photo lasting through the elements fifty-fifty after lamination, you could consider having a Memorial Portrait made for the deceased. In this process, yous choose and upload a photo of your loved one. It is then recreated as a larger image with the texture and depth resembling that of a brushstroke on an oil painting.

Photograph ENGRAVED PENDANT

If a newspaper photo isn't as durable or permanent as you might similar, y'all can explore other avenues of ornament for grave decorations. One that might appeal to you is having a small pendant custom engraved with an image of your loved ane on it.

These small, personalized keepsakes are wonderful to wearable, cherish, or fifty-fifty display on headstones or gravesites so yous tin call back your loved one at the moment that paradigm was captured.

Custom photo engraved jewelry comes in a multifariousness of shapes and sizes, including everything from crosses, hearts, squares, or a simple circle. The pendants are the perfect size for a modest headstone ornament, especially if yous'd similar to avoid any big displays. Additionally, it can be included in a larger floral pieces or as a stand up-alone emblem.

These photo pendants are created using a specialized laser process that replicates the highest item of the images you provide into metal that volition concluding forever. You can choose between a simple, etched black and white grayscale design to a total-colored rendition that brings more than effulgence to a graveside visit.

If you'd like to add something a picayune anarchistic to your next cemetery visit, that might exist but what you're looking for!

Creative Ways To Decorate A Grave

While flowers are the about mutual decoration in most cemeteries, they aren't the simply items you tin leave. Nosotros've covered many of the basic decorations higher up. Now it's time for some of the out-of-the-box selections.

In this section, nosotros'll bear witness y'all some of the more original, distinctly unique means to accolade your loved one's final resting place. You may observe something outside the norm speaks to you – and your retentiveness – the most!

SOLAR LIGHTS

As candles may not e'er be a practical (or allowed) option in public cemeteries, there is a growing trend to install solar lights at the gravesite instead. These accept many forms.

Some tin be attached to the grave directly. Others are installed into the ground about the grave to brighten the area. They come in many shapes – crosses, angels, and other colored memorial housings – or mounted gravestone floodlights that illuminate the grave even at dark.

You tin can even install small solar-powered LED candles effectually the grave as a safety culling to open flame.

SPECIAL ROCKS & STONES

Placing minor stones atop a grave or headstone is a common Jewish practice thought to go on the soul down on earth. Many all the same exercise information technology today, equally it brings comfort and acts as a small memorial to the deceased.

Since prehistory times, mourners have created cairns – human being-made piles of stones – to mark gravesites, especially in the British Isles. This tradition lives on in many forms today in memorial stones; often people will accept messages engraved on smaller stones or rocks and leave them at the base of the grave.

These can be anything from Biblical verses, poems, or personalized messages for the deceased. Stones are more than durable than flowers and last longer. They are a wonderful, practical alternative (or addition!) to them.

Homemade (or home-painted, as the case may exist) rocks are just as welcome. If you have immature ones, you can encourage them to paint images or messages on rocks. Information technology'due south a fun craft to practise together and provides the take a chance to share memories of the deceased person as y'all create something for them together.

GRAVE Coating

If y'all alive in a colder region, you many consider grave blankets to protect the grave from snow or extreme conditions. Grave blankets are evergreen arrangements that cover the basis of a grave. They tin can exist decorated with seasonal pieces like ribbons, stuffed animals, pinecones, or even vacation ornaments. Symbolically, y'all may want a grave blanket to go on the grave from getting "cold" in those winter months. It tin can bring comfort to you or other loved ones.

You tin make your ain grave coating using chicken wire, greenery, and whatsoever decorative materials you may want to include.

Blimp ANIMALS OR TOYS

Decorating a child'due south grave is never something that volition get easy. Leaving stuffed animals at the grave of a child is common, with teddy bears or bunnies beingness the most oft used.

Sometimes, children exit these tokens on the graves of a parent, sibling, or other loved one also. It tin can exist a style to leave a piece of themselves and go along their connection with the deceased strong.

Fifty-fifty grown children may leave blimp animals at the graves of their parents or grandparents. These may be even more meaningful if the person collected blimp objects or certain types of toys. Yous could even leave a small piece of a larger item.

FLAGS

Leaving a flag comes with a caveat – merely small ones. Information technology is quite common to see American flags on graves, particularly for anyone who served in the military. However, these should e'er be small and unobtrusive.

For many, leaving a large flag out in the elements is seen as disrespectful to the stars and stripes. Information technology's fifty-fifty common to see state or local flags displayed as well as war machine flags denoting their branch of service, their rank, or any veteran status.

The flags don't necessarily have to a patriotic display, either. If your loved 1 was a sports fan, it might be fitting to leave a small flag for their favorite team or league. Yous tin even find flags for several popular hobbies like SCUBA diving or motorcycling. There are many options available.

HANDMADE SIGNS & PLAQUES

While polished, manufactured grave memorials are beautiful and always welcome, there is something to be said for handmade goods. Sometimes, making a handmade sign or small plaque to place in front end of the grave or on it can be but as satisfying and, in many cases, more personal than other options.

You will want to laminate it and secure it firmly to the grave and then it can last.

COINS

Coins have long been associated with graves and death. The aboriginal Greeks covered the eyes of the expressionless with coins meant to act as payment for the ferryman Charon who took souls to the afterlife.

The traditions in various forms today, as in many areas of the world (peculiarly in parts of Latin America) it's still considered good luck to exit coins atop graves.

One famous example of leaving coins on graves is the case of Ben Franklin's grave. Information technology'due south a long-standing tradition for visitors to his headstone to leave a penny atop it. This is because the adage "a penny saved is a penny earned" is oftentimes attributed to Franklin.

Today, you may run across coins on the veterans' graves. This is military tradition to leave a penny or other small coin on the gravesite of a veteran equally a fashion to honor their service and their passing. If y'all knew they served in the armed services, you lot exit a penny. If y'all attended boot campsite with that person, you leave a nickel. If yous served with them, you leave a dime. If they died when y'all were with them, y'all go out a quarter.

What Not To Leave At A Graveside Memorials

Earlier y'all brainstorm planning your perfect graveside memorial, you want to be aware of the items yous should non exit as much as those you tin. Many cemeteries have policies regarding what they let on-site and, if you have any questions, you tin always call in advance.

Hither's a list of the almost frequently prohibited items for graveside decorations:

FREE-Standing DECORATIONS

Make sure everything you leave is firmly secured in some fashion earlier you lot get out the site. This will go along it from bravado away in any air current or storms and assist a tidy cemetery. Remember that proper maintenance on cemetery grounds includes frequent mowing, weeding, and other basic tasks. Leaving things effectually the grave that are non attached in any way can be hard to maneuver effectually and may cause more issues for the groundskeepers.

GLASS ORNAMENTS & JARS

Exercise not leave anything glass on or at a gravesite. Glass items similar ornaments, jars, or even picture frames tin exist hard to secure properly to a headstone. This can pb them to exist knocked over or even broken quite easily. Broken glass tin can become a potential risk to other visitors – or their pets - if someone steps on a fragment or even sits on them unintentionally.

In many cases, this can include candles as well. If you do leave candles at a grave, make certain they are not in glass containers.

Large FLAGS

We mentioned flags earlier. All the same, we'd like to reiterate that, should you lot choose to include a flag as office of your decorations, brand sure it is a small 1. Large flags tin exist a lark to other mourners, hard to maintain and continue from flying away, and may crusade issues for groundskeepers to dispose of when they become torn or tattered.

FENCING/BORDERS AROUND GRAVE

Information technology can be appealing to create a more than personal space around a loved one's grave. You may want to marking the cemetery plot by placing a curt decorative contend around the grave or the headstone. This is oftentimes against the cemetery policy. Once more, this tin can be a hassle for grave maintenance. It tin likewise get a hazard for other visitors who may have mobility bug to navigate the area.

When planning your cemetery visit, please be respectful of others and decorate appropriately! You'll want them to do the same for you!

How To Create Safe & Secure Grave Decorations

Now that we've discussed what decorations to consider for your next visit – and which ones to avert – it'southward fourth dimension to talk about the best ways to attach them to the headstone, gravestone, or cemetery plot that are safety, durable, and won't violate whatsoever cemetery policies.

HOOKS

This is a dandy option for attaching larger decorations to the front of headstones.

Several retailers create wreath hangers that require an adhesive hook attached direct to the stone or one that hangs over the pinnacle of the headstone and hangs downward over it . Both options will go along your arrangements where they should exist and not swept away by wind or storms.

ADHESIVES

If yous'd like to go out a photograph or other keepsake attached to the front of the grave, you might want to look into headstone-safe adhesives to help you get the job done. We recommend exploring what monument supply companies take to offering, from basic single-use epoxy or a silicon rubber chemical compound.

Avert using whatever standard glues or 3M strips; they won't concluding nearly besides equally an industrial adhesive and may exit residue on the stone if they autumn off. Small moving picture frames can easily be attached with a scrap of adhesive and some careful positioning. Yous should also look into specialty-made ceramic photographs or frames designed to withstand the outdoors.

SADDLES

Another way to adhere flora arrangements to headstones is a cemetery saddle. These are flower arrangements to sit down atop a headstone by being fastened – ordinarily with floral Styrofoam – to a metallic frame that hugs the sides of the headstone like a traditional saddle.

They are likewise chosen headstone sprays or headstone toppers, depending on how they are marketed.

ATTACHED VASES

When considering leaving flowers, flags, or other staked items in front of a grave, you volition desire to check the local cemetery guidelines for such items. If they exercise non allow loose items on top of graves, you can always invest in a cemetery blossom vase fabricated of bronze, granite, or marble that can be fastened directly to a flat gravestone or on the corner of a headstone.

These permanent displays are perfect for holding flowers, flags, or other long trinkets. Depending on the shape, you can too deposit modest notes, stones, or annihilation you'd similar in the base.

When To Decorate A Gravesite

There isn't a set timeline for grave decoration. You should be able to add or change things equally ofttimes every bit you would like. Nonetheless, yous should reach out to the cemetery to see if they accept any guidelines for the length of time decorations can stay up.

You may find that sure items – like flowers or biodegradable decorations – are removed after a certain time once they begin wilting or showing signs of decay. This is standard do for some cemeteries, but others do not remove any items from graves.

This ways you'll want to program your trips appropriately if y'all'd similar to avoid leaving older decorations for an extended menstruation of time or supercede fresh flowers.

Seasonal Decorating

Decorating gravesites seasonally is also a popular exercise. Possibly y'all've always celebrated large holidays as a family. Or perchance your loved i may accept had a favorite season or holiday they loved higher up all things. There'south no reason to stop the tradition, especially if you feel strongly about gravesite upkeep.

There are many options available. The nearly obvious is using a grave coating for the wintertime months. You could select themed flower arrangements to reflect the holiday season (from red roses on Valentine'due south Twenty-four hours or a fresh holly wreath around Christmas).

Perhaps a small pumpkin would be a overnice add-on as autumn begins. Fifty-fifty attaching a pocket-sized cross or statue to the headstone for Easter add together minor decorative touches that assistance create a meaningful brandish.

Special Occasion Decorating

Y'all can too decorate graves specifically for birthdays, anniversaries, or other big events in the person's life. In this case, you may want to find something that adds a more personal touch to the graves. Anything from specific colors or even small trinkets that remind you of the date or something they loved in life.

How To Maintain The Gravesite

There may be a question of who maintains private graves in a cemetery. Much of that depends on the rules and regulations you should already be aware of once yous – or whoever was responsible – purchased the plot. Many times, families are responsible for the maintenance of the grave outside of normal groundskeeping activities like mowing or security. If yous practice need to clean the grave, you'll want to come prepared to practise so regularly.

TO CLEAN THE GRAVESITE

Utilise pocket-sized grass cutters to trim the grass around the headstone or grave marking. For larger plots, a weed trimmer can exist used if necessary. Small-scale grass cutters are a more preferable option every bit they are less probable to cause any harm to the gravesite.

A small-scale, soft-bristle castor tin can be used to scrub out any dirt, moss, or grime that'due south nerveless in any crevice on the stone.

Be gentle! A little warm water and some dish detergent is all that is needed to gently wipe away any dirt or droppings on the surface of the headstone or grave marker. Never employ harsh chemicals to clean the rock.

Basic Cemetery Etiquette

When visiting any cemetery, there are a ready of basic rules y'all should follow. Virtually of the rules center effectually being respectful to others - both living and dead - while honoring the memory of those buried there. We've compiled a list of tips that will help you have the most successful trip to visit your loved one's concluding resting identify.

Be Respectful

Overall, this is the virtually important rule of any visitation. Treat whatever cemetery in the same fashion equally you might a church. While you don't need to make it a solemn or mournful moment each time, you lot should be aware of the others around you. Make sure the ringer on your prison cell telephone is silenced and go along your speaking vocalisation low so it does not disturb others.

Watch Your Speed

This may be the near obvious etiquette tip we accept to offer. Depending on where you are, yous may drive through a cemetery to observe the grave y'all are visiting, especially if the cemetery is large. Brand certain you are driving slowly and carefully through the grounds. Many cemeteries accept signs posted only if they do non, attempt not to exceed 10 MPH at any bespeak. Y'all may want to become even slower if you see a funeral or memorial service in the area.

Don't Litter

Make sure y'all clean up afterwards yourself when you finish with your visit. This includes whatsoever trash, wrappers, cans, or even loose decorations that could end up scattered over the area. You lot don't desire to make more work for the groundskeepers or staff on-site, subsequently all!

Continue An Eye On Children

We all know that kids can be a handful, especially if they are bored or anxious well-nigh a situation. Visiting a cemetery (especially for the first time) can be a very stressful time for them. Withal, bringing your children to the cemetery can exist a not bad way to teach them about death.

With open up discussion, it can convalesce some fears or questions about loss. Talk to your kids alee of time. That mode, they know what to expect and how they should behave. It may take a little piece of work, but most children can have short trips to the cemetery while still being respectful.

Go on Off The Graves

It is disrespectful to walk over a gravesite or a headstone. If you are walking through the surface area, brand sure you walk amidst the rows and not into them. You should too never lean against graves, sit down on them, or impact whatever of the decorations adorning them. If the headstone is older, it could be damaged or broken by your actions.

In short, care for all other graves only as respectfully every bit you would for your own loved ones.

Don't Have Photos Of Others

If y'all are visiting while others are nearby, be mindful of whatsoever photos y'all take. Don't photograph other mourners without their permission. Don't have photos of funerals going on around you. If yous do photograph graves, make sure yous aren't anyone in the groundwork of your shots.

Take Your Fourth dimension

At that place'south no rush when planning a graveside visit. You can spend as much – or as little – fourth dimension there as you lot'd like. You may want to get past to for a short visit to identify a ornamentation or say a prayer. Alternatively, you may want to spend an afternoon at that place. You lot can plan a picnic in a nearby area, spread out a coating to read a book, or just sit and meditate.

As long as you're courteous to those effectually yous, you lot can visit for every bit long as you'd similar (within the proper hours).

Be Respectful Of Other Mourners

Most visitors to cemeteries prefer privacy for mourning. It's rude to approach or speak with other visitors to a cemetery (unless, of class, yous know them or are visiting the same location). If any funerals or other events are happening, brand sure to keep a respectful altitude from them and try not to become in the way of any processions.

Only Visit During Open Hours

Cemeteries often take official visitation hours and, if they have one, they will shut the gate at the stop of the day. Information technology'south also disrespectful to stay on the grounds after dark or well into the dark. There may be employees or gatekeepers who cannot leave until the cemetery is empty, so be respectful of their time and try not to worry or startle them.

Check Pet Policies

Different cemeteries have different policies when information technology comes to allowing pets on the premises. Some are very permission and may merely crave you to pick upward after them. For others, you may find that you need to go along your pet on a leash for the entire visit. You lot should also prepare for the possibility they might not let any pets at all.

Questions? Phone call Ahead!

Many cemeteries will have rules posted either on the grounds or online. If you lot accept whatever questions, y'all should cheque ahead before you go. You should be able to call the cemetery if you are uncertain virtually any of their policies.

The best rule of pollex for any visit is to simply apply the archetype adage of treating others how you'd similar to be treated.

Honoring Their Memory By Decorating Their Resting Place

One of the best ways to find to create a memorable cemetery visit is by including as much of the family unit as possible. If yous are planning to decorate a grave, be certain to communicate with other family members and tell them about your plans. They will also need to know near the rules and etiquette so everyone tin enjoy leaving flowers or personal items.

Consider including other family members that are interested in the care and maintenance of the gravesite and so that the chore doesn't fall on just i person and anybody can feel they are caring for their deceased loved one's final resting place.

While it's a natural office of the grieving process and an of import manner to feel connected to those who have passed, visiting the cemetery tin can be difficult and often filled with complex emotions. The best thing you can practise for yourself – and your remaining loved ones – is to take a plan earlier you lot go.

Cemetery visits and headstone decoration are likewise rewarding experiences that can bring you peace, closure, and ultimately assist y'all show respect and dearest to loved ones long after they accept passed.

Helpful reading:

A Complete Guide To Funeral & Burying Traditions

Grief and Grieving: Healing After Loss Through the Grieving Process

Cremation Vs Burial: Know The Facts

September 17, 2020 by Frances Kay

Source: https://www.evrmemories.com/decorating-the-grave-of-a-loved-one

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